Nerves skid sideways
Heart stutter stut Throat clench Not breathing Say yes breathe Yes control Yes relax let go It doesn't have to be this way Doesn't have to Turn dark And scary Just wait And breathe It will pass Always does Hungry angry lonely tired Three out of four tonight Turns the key
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Three drinks in
Throws me over the edge I fall right in and The monkeys come out Turn the key Let out the monkeys Run free and wild When the monkeys come out Walk a straight line Till a breeze or a sign Throws me over And the monkeys come out Turn the key Let the monkeys go free It's wild and free When the monkeys come out Frustration boredom That's all I need Here's an excuse Let the monkeys run free Turn the key Let the monkeys go free Wild and free When the monkeys come out Four a.m. I bolt awake
For no discernible reason My mind racing full bore Song lyrics revolve in A maddening double helix Never ending only louder With each revolution I try to read Think I feel sleepy Light off try again By five I move To the couch Unwilling to be up Unable to be asleep Finally at six I let myself rise Get down on the mat Knowing this day Will be a theme park Of weirdness No Sleep World i watch her flutter
A flurry All grey and beige Curling in on herself Making fast talk Jokes away fear Easy to see why One might find her Confusing What does she know Beneath her shrugs Behind her smoke More than she lets on I'd guess but Easily cowed She scurries behind An excuse A laugh Probably she's alright Won't do any harm At least I hope so Last night I dreamt you left me
You said you never wanted to stay And you left I remember I wandered about Feeling a hole in my center Filled with anguish Tears and hopelessness My life with you had been Nothing but a lie You had never loved me at all The ache in my center Bereft Hollow And when I felt I could bear Not one moment more Of this pain I awoke To you next to me It was a dream Not real Did you feel that way Would you leave me And leave the ache The empty hollow At my heart center Never Please never go Amid crumbling walls
And ruined towers A community has sprung up Families squatting in Forsaken apartments Vendors and hawkers In hallways and foyers Even a cafe in a dark corner Where I huddle Nursing my steaming coffee for heat The only heat here In the cold night All around rise voices Mothers calling children Children calling dogs Teeming life in the midst Of abandonment Like spikes of grass That force their way up through concrete The people overcome And thrive in the ruin Bubbles on the surface
Come from rot below Above all seems well but On the bottom Deep within the slime Dead and dying Fish small creatures and One old drunk Who stumbled in Blind with drink They all rot together Decomposition sends Lovely bubbles up To tempt little fingers And little feet The spotted glymph slithered
On his belly Through the forest Making no sound Or nearly none Only the faint smacking As his suckers pulled From the mud Unsure if he was Slithering away or toward He sometimes got stuck Half turned half gone Sure he would Never fit in At the next place Any better than the last They would laugh at his spots Ridicule his suckers They always did Yet he must push on It was either that Or sink in the mud He'd give it a go One more time Maybe there would be Another glymph there And he slithered on A bit faster Creee creee creee
Across the room Drift sounds of cat snores Regular as breath Calms and comforts With feelings of safety Quietude Memories of other snores Dad on the couch We kids cleaning up Wash dishes Sweep floors Restore order With organized domesticity This feeling of safety Within our mother's management Brings calm Like listening to Steady snores of the Sleeping cat At the dump today
We find treasures Cast iron gingerbread men The Little Prince A thumbscrew We laugh and joke Make friends I offer to let anyone Insert their thumbs In the thumbscrew No takers This is my best dump experience One lady says We head out arms full Of treasures To a vintage store Look at every last thing Leave empty handed Free is much better We head back Find big sticks with the dog Who is excited beyond measure Good talk good food And sleep early In the marvelous barn home |